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MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDS
19 June 2007 @ 08:03 am
"I get that she’s undercover as an assassin, but peppy teen hooker is not a good look for X-23."

---Comics Should be Good

The
Marvel Database doens't list an age for Laura Kinney here, which is probably the one smart move they made regarding this storyline.



I have low self-esteem. I was sexualized at too early an age. It's fun, exciting, and a great way to make non-reportable income. "
--Queer as Folk

"
 
 
 
MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDS
17 June 2007 @ 09:03 pm
ah, summer....days of humid heat and sticky sweat....days of queuing under the blazing heat of San Diego or Chicago or Texas as your deodorant glues your armpits to your chest while you wedge into a tiny under-ventilated convention space filled with hundreds of people to whom soap is a distant memory....

But that's not the smell of putrefaction we're talking about.

We're talking decay, baby! (And that's not just  the manstream INDUSTRY!)
Marvel and DC rush to cash in on what may be the season's hottest new scent:

DK-ONE

A supersecret elixir distilled from the pungent , tasteless, and altogether stomach-churning storylines of today:

FETUS DEMONS



ZOMBIES


 METHANE




STENCH OF MEN (IT LEAVES A BAD TASTE , THIS WORLD OF MEN)


....AND THE USUAL CHEESE.
()
 
 
MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDS
13 June 2007 @ 06:46 pm
AWARD: FRESH MEAT
Winner: Marvel Zombies HC
Publisher: Marvel Entertainment

Obviously not ALL comic women are kept inside refrigerators- although sometimes, maybe they should be.



Or maybe that should be reserved for the editors.



So just to reitterate: Children’s character from book for children (the kid/teen girl-oriented Mary Jane #1) used as sex symbol? Check. Sex symbol met with incredible violence, still portrayed as sexy? Check. Deliberately done to provoke fan reaction? Check.


Edit: Just for those not as well-versed as me in the comics, this is the cover to the fifth printing of the Marvel Zombies HC, released today by Marvel, art by Arthur Suydam. It’s a take on a cover to a children’s series featuring Mary Jane from the Spider-Man books, in high school, at about 15 I think? The original art was by Takeshi Miyazawa and you can find it here.

--Chris Butcher






 
 
MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDS
Return of the Reincarnation of  the Daughter of the Clone of the Retread of the Reinterpretation of the Second Cousin of Dark Phoenix, or:

DEJA-FU TOO!!!! (THE SEQUEL)



Dark Phoenix was the Phoenix Force's fall from grace - a state wherein it became corrupted by power. For its prior history impersonating Jean Grey-Summers, see Phoenix (Phoenix Force).


The Phoenix entity became too strong to control for the merely human aspects it had acquired from Jean, but the other X-Men had no way to know what was happening and little chance of preventing a tragedy....
Professor X ordered the X-Men to subdue Jean so that Plan Omega would not be necessary, and they managed to subdue the Phoenix for a brief time. In this moment of lucidity, Jean took Cyclops to a back alley, where she did unspeakably vile but titillating things to him where she bade him an emotional farewell and turned the Kree weapon on herself.

This pivotal story ends with Uatu the Watcher commenting that "Jean Grey could have lived to become a god, but it was more important to her that she died as a human."

--Wikipedia profile of Dark Phoenix
 
 
 
MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDS
08 June 2007 @ 01:18 am
"This isn't porn to them; it's business as usual. And these aren't one-note characters who were created to play the part of the passive partner in a pornographic fantasy. These are established characters with a history and personality and fan following — characters that people identify with, characters they love. If a fan chooses to play with the characters in this sort of way, that's one thing, but this is canon. It's how the characters' official owners and caretakers view them: as sex objects suitable for little else than being molested by tentacles or doing Peter Parker's laundry."
Layla Lawlor, Sequential Tart




I was going to mock Madame Mirage until I realized that I just don't give a shit.

Like Lawlor says, it's one thing if you take a character I loved as a kid and turn her into some porno doll- then I'll be disturbed.

But this?

It's a brand new character who has no history, no fan investment, no canon, no context.
Please, tell me something interesting about her on the cover. It's the first time we meet, after all. Is she a sharpshooter? An international spy? The love child of  Mata Hari and David Copperfield?

Cuz right now she ain't doing nuthin' but laying out her breasts and ass like Christmas hams.

One in a million, buddy. One in a million.
 
 
MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDS
06 June 2007 @ 10:06 am

Newsflash from Top Cow news agency:



Junichi Uchikura, 24,  was arrested for attempted panty thievery.



"He tried to get this underwear [pictured] to satisfy his sexual desire," says local police officer.


 
 
 
MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDS
06 June 2007 @ 09:21 am

Three days after Manstream graciously accepted the "Daily Raider Pity Fuck" award, a Manstream operative found this in their box.

As the subject of this email infers, we at the Daily Raider would like to
congratulate your LJ group "The Manstream Awards" for making it this
week on our sites "Livejournal Moron of the Week" award!

Why such the dubious honor you ask? Because The Manstream Awards just
comes to prove that geeky feminists with sand in their vagina's and
effeminate comic book nerds, still don't have a sense of humor. Why
are you getting this email? Because its your fucking group and by default
that means that you must have the higher concentration of vaginal sand in
the group.

Anyway, you can read the profile we did on your group over at:

http://www.dailyraider.com
/index/id80

Once again, congratulations and we honestly hope that someone in your
group gets laid real soon.

Regards
The Daily Raider staff


The Manstream Society replies:

Dear John,

We already scooped you on your own award. We sincerly wish for you to get laid, too. Maybe some time after remedial grammar.

P.S.: The apostrophe is to indicate a contraction (it's for it is) or posessive (John's mini quofe bone.) It is not to signal that an "s" is on its way. (The possesive "its" does not get an apotrophe.)
 
 
MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDS
05 June 2007 @ 07:45 am
 "...asking for and desiring that kind of inclusion into the world of mainstream comics, I have to accept all that comes with that. Heroes are placed into dangerous situations, sometimes heroes get killed, sometimes they get placed into torturous peril and yes, sometimes they get attacked by the Brood. For me to ask for inclusion and then to find exception to the things that come with that inclusion is then in effect me asking for special treatment and exclusion from the process."

Joe Quesada, New Joe Fridays 49

Anticipating this call for equality in tortuous peril, DC Comics gives you Aquaman in "Oh Noes!"



Aquaman looks worried, huh? Clothes all torn, tied up in a totally hot way with his chest thrown out and cock on display, no weapon, and cryin' for Mera (who's dead, 'cause that's EQUAL.) We're sure the editor said, "Aquaman. Giant Squid. Rape. Fisherman's Wife. Hentai. Big Unit. Sexy," and was all shocked and shit when people went, "OMGBBQPRON!" and then said he had no idea what this "prawn" stuff was, even though he had sweet and sour shrimp just last week.

This is totally like that Heroes for Hentai cover, and the editor has no idea why you want to write manpreg fic all of a sudden. So stop whinin', bitches, 'cause this is EQUAL!