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04 July 2007 @ 11:05 am
Joe Quesada Never Met a Bondage He Didn't Like  
Well, ladies and gents, we can stop whining about that Heroes for Hentai cover. Put away your copies of the "Feminine Mystique." All you clueless nerds who would miss your ass shots, pornface, cameltoe, camelfaux and titstitstits are in the clear. "Men are in jeopardy too" (and its variants) can be struck from the Bingo card.
Forget Cover Rage! Forget going over covers in Previews and laughing at them! You were all judging by exactly the same thing as any browser or newbie would, anyway! You're over! It's old! It was outrage for outrage's sake! You are expending energy in a way others disapprove of! You're fat and ugly!

Joe Quesada has brought comics gender peril sleaze equity! We need never mock a book by its cover again! This one mocks itself!

Ouch, my Balls are Gone

This feminist pinnacle brought to you by Chris's Invincible Super-Blog!

Wait, wait...why does Spidey have no junk? He's as smooth as a Rub-a-Dub Dolly! Spidey is gagged, spread-eagled, got a web-rope around his neck, got Aunt May checking out his ass and some dude looking like he's ready for Spidey to drop a poop on his head!

We take back the first two paragraphs of this post. If Spidey gets tied up and still has no junk, no autoerotic asphyxsiation wood, then cover mocking?-- it's ON.
 
 
 
Lea Hernandez-DivaLeadivalea on July 4th, 2007 11:33 pm (UTC)
Peter's got no peter! Tee-Hee!
The Event Horizon of Awful Thingsthetathx1138 on July 5th, 2007 05:33 am (UTC)
It's his secret shame. Why do you think he beats on Doc Ock so much more than the other villains? Jealously, pure jealousy.