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04 July 2007 @ 11:05 am
Joe Quesada Never Met a Bondage He Didn't Like  
Well, ladies and gents, we can stop whining about that Heroes for Hentai cover. Put away your copies of the "Feminine Mystique." All you clueless nerds who would miss your ass shots, pornface, cameltoe, camelfaux and titstitstits are in the clear. "Men are in jeopardy too" (and its variants) can be struck from the Bingo card.
Forget Cover Rage! Forget going over covers in Previews and laughing at them! You were all judging by exactly the same thing as any browser or newbie would, anyway! You're over! It's old! It was outrage for outrage's sake! You are expending energy in a way others disapprove of! You're fat and ugly!

Joe Quesada has brought comics gender peril sleaze equity! We need never mock a book by its cover again! This one mocks itself!

Ouch, my Balls are Gone

This feminist pinnacle brought to you by Chris's Invincible Super-Blog!

Wait, wait...why does Spidey have no junk? He's as smooth as a Rub-a-Dub Dolly! Spidey is gagged, spread-eagled, got a web-rope around his neck, got Aunt May checking out his ass and some dude looking like he's ready for Spidey to drop a poop on his head!

We take back the first two paragraphs of this post. If Spidey gets tied up and still has no junk, no autoerotic asphyxsiation wood, then cover mocking?-- it's ON.
 
 
 
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
The Event Horizon of Awful Thingsthetathx1138 on July 4th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
Shhhh! Don't point out Peter has a tiny penis! You'll embarass him!
Lea Hernandez-DivaLeadivalea on July 4th, 2007 11:33 pm (UTC)
Peter's got no peter! Tee-Hee!
The Event Horizon of Awful Thingsthetathx1138 on July 5th, 2007 05:33 am (UTC)
It's his secret shame. Why do you think he beats on Doc Ock so much more than the other villains? Jealously, pure jealousy.
anderson_t on July 4th, 2007 07:19 pm (UTC)
What would I do?
Point and laugh.

He's hung like a bish.
Doodles: mesousadoodlesthegreat on July 4th, 2007 07:58 pm (UTC)
That's a side effect of being bit by a radioactive bug that he wasn't aware of. Now he's hung like a spider. =];-3
biancagapyd on July 17th, 2008 12:15 am (UTC)
"He said it would look like he's wanting attention, that critics would say he's out trying to get attention.
the Soozfurikku on July 4th, 2007 07:20 pm (UTC)
*Sigh* So close to equal tittilation, and yet, so far...

But thank you for trying, Marvel. Maybe someday you'll achieve your dream of making really hott covers of mens.

To practice, I suggest y'all go visit 4chan's /y/ board.
tinpan on July 5th, 2007 12:14 am (UTC)
sounds like it's time for a lea hernandez-style remix!
Lea Hernandez-DivaLeadivalea on July 5th, 2007 02:14 am (UTC)
MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDSmanstreamcomics on July 5th, 2007 01:42 am (UTC)
Sumwun at Marble is liking webbondage very much~ies.



MANSTREAM COMICS AWARDS: TENTACULAR!manstreamcomics on July 5th, 2007 02:18 am (UTC)
What do you think the safe word is?

That one needs a Hernandez remix, too. Move that right leg out juuuust a bit, show us whether Namor is a whale, an orange roughy, dolphin-safe. a minnow, or just Chicken of the Sea.

We crack ourselves up.
bellatrys: ebolbellatrys on July 5th, 2007 02:54 pm (UTC)
Yeah, for all that Namor is very definitely hunky eye-candy there, they still have managed to avoid depicting him quite in that Milleresque, your-seams-go-from-back-to-front! way.

And he's raging and fighting back, not weeping and cringing and fainting away. Yup, it's EXACTLY like the H4H cover!
The Event Horizon of Awful Thingsthetathx1138 on July 5th, 2007 05:34 am (UTC)
Well, what do you expect from a supervillain who moved to San Francisco? I mean, duh.
anderson_t on July 6th, 2007 12:11 am (UTC)
That's... hot. 0_0
Dammit, his foot is in the wrong place >_<
Calyx of the Heavens: Supergirl by ileahheavenscalyx on July 6th, 2007 02:11 pm (UTC)
"Dammit, Venom, that's NOT what I meant by offering you some head!"
Ami Angelwingslost_angelwings on July 5th, 2007 10:14 am (UTC)
XD

That's what I thought! Spread like that and NOTHING between the legs? :O
Jkarabellajkarabella on July 6th, 2007 12:15 am (UTC)
Joe is on teh Internets and apparently into bondage... and he expects us to believe he's never heard of tentacle rape porn? How gullible does he think we are.

Then again... he doesn't seem to be aware Spiderman should have genitalia so maybe...
lea_hazel on July 6th, 2007 03:33 pm (UTC)
Well, you wanted more prominent female superheroes. Or is he a transman? Now that would be awesome.
(Anonymous) on July 18th, 2007 04:09 am (UTC)
What happened to this site? I'm disappointed with the lack of updates. Surely plenty of comics with "quality" commensurate with the stuff posted here have come out lately.

I hope you'll post updates soon. Thanks.
(Anonymous) on July 23rd, 2007 01:58 am (UTC)
Here i am
Hi to all, nice blog i just want to say hello
here!
(Anonymous) on August 15th, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC)
what the heck happened?
This blog seems to have died an ignoble death. Doesn't anyone come back and check the comments and tell us why? At the very least? Thanks.
(Deleted comment)
(Anonymous) on October 6th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
Re: I don&#39;t even know if I should mention this ...
It's a meme? I always thought you were responsible for that.
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( 27 comments — Leave a comment )